4 Steps To Shut Down Your Inner Complainer (insights from my travelling adventures)

One month ago I was embarking on my digital nomad Christmas adventure. I and my partner decided to spend the festive time travelling through Italy. We visited Spoleto and Gubbio, beautiful towns situated in Umbria, a region in central Italy. We moved then to Benevento, located in Campania, a region in Southern Italy to welcome the New Year.

Those three towns are really beautiful like most places in Italy. I was surrounded by beauty,  fantastic weather (although it was a little bit cold) and lots of good food.

We met many people on our journey, from local people to tourists. And there was one thing that they all had in common, and you and I have, too. They were all complaining about everything,  their work, family, weather and life in general.  It made me sad, there was so much unhappiness in the beauty.

Beautiful Gubbio, Italy

 

I know we all have challenges and life, business and career can get complicated. There is so much to do when you are moving to a new place, starting a business or a new career, that you can feel tired and start blaming yourself or others for everything.  I am guilty of that, too.

However sometimes complaining is the best way to stop ourselves from moving forward, from going after our goals. It is an excuse! Can you relate? Or are you surrounded by complainers?

If yes here is what you can do to stop complaining.

1. Cultivate positive thinking. What I am learning now is that our thoughts create our feelings. Here is my quick exercise to help you feel more satisfied every day. At the end of the day think about 3 things you are happy about and you will feel uplifted. You can do the same if you are speaking with someone who is complaining. You can say: “ok, so those are the things you are not happy about, now tell me 3 things you are happy about today?” You will see that it is much more difficult to think about positive things in our life.

2. Listen to yourself more. Sometimes you don’t even realize when you are complaining. This week listen more carefully about what you are saying and what you are complaining about. Then ask yourself: Why am I complaining about that? What is behind my complaint? For example, when you are starting a business or looking for a new career you can start complaining about not having enough clients or lack of new opportunities. As I mentioned before complaining can be the excuse for not taking actions. You can be scared of starting something new or you don’t want to fail.

Modern Art in Benevento

3. Move forward. Once you’ve identified what is behind your complaint, think what you can do about it? How can you improve your situation? What actions can you take? Who can help you? What can you change? And how are you going to do that?

4. Create a happiness list. I developed a habit to write down at the end of every week ten things I am happy about. You can do that instead of the daily list. Write down your achievements, and even the smallest things you are happy about. You will feel more confident about yourself.

You challenge for this week is to choose one of the exercises above and implement it in your professional or personal life. Then let me know how was it for you.

 

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Dominika Miernik

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About Dominika Miernik

Dominika Miernik is an award-winning Career and Expat Coach with over 20 years of living and working abroad in countries like Poland, Italy, the UK and France. Over the past 10+ years, she has been helping expat and globally mobile women to create fulfilling careers and businesses around their international lives. She works with individuals and expat support organisations. And is a mentor for expat coaches. Currently, she is enjoying a laptop lifestyle while travelling across Europe.